Parenting Styles and Their Impact on the Child’s Education and Mental Health
Western society places a strong emphasis on a child's education and their development as an independent individual. This societal emphasis reflects a deep-seated belief that a well-rounded education and independence are crucial for a child's future success. However, while the goal of such upbringing may be noble, the route to it will often determine whether the child will reach the goal their parents aspire to. Different parenting styles may have very different effects on the child's cognitive and learning abilities, as well as their emotion regulation, behavioural issues, self-esteem, independence, and contentedness with life.
Parenting styles also influence a child's mental health. They may cause behavioural issues, such as aggression, depression, problems with self-esteem or self-worth, and feelings of internal emptiness, meaninglessness, or boredom. In one's adult close and romantic relationships, an unhealthy parenting style may lead to dependency and codependency, a lack of trust in others, fears of rejection and abandonment, or general dissatisfaction with relationships. Unhealthy parenting styles have also been associated with the development of personality disorders, especially borderline personality disorder (BPD).
Parenting Styles
There are four distinct parenting styles that can influence how a child is raised. Understanding the key characteristics of each style can help understand how different styles determine the child’s emotional, cognitive, behavioural, and overall psychological development, as well as what impact this may have on their current and future mental health. Parenting styles may also affect the child’s learning capacities and their ability to cope with environmental stressors as well as how they develop and engage in relationships.
The four types of parenting styles are:
Authoritative parenting style is a positive parenting approach and one that is most optimal for a child's psychological, social, and educational development. It is characterised by warmth, nurturing, and support. Authoritative parents respect their child's individual needs and attempt to meet them. They are attuned to the child's distress and offer support to process negative feelings. They provide supportive guidance rather than critical evaluation of the child's behaviour. While authoritative parenting involves nurturing, it also sets firm boundaries, which are, however, not rigid. Authoritative parents explain the reasoning behind rules and consequences, encouraging open communication and mutual respect. This style evokes a sense of security and autonomy in children, allowing them to develop self-discipline, self-confidence, and find their own identity. Furthermore, authoritative parenting has been linked to numerous positive outcomes, including better academic performance, stronger social skills, higher self-esteem, and better emotional regulation. Children raised with an authoritative approach tend to be more independent, self-reliant, and well-adjusted compared to those raised under other parenting styles. They are also less prone to mental health issues.
Authoritarian parenting style is a negative parenting style, characterised by the parent’s expectation of obedience and discipline. It uses control rather than guidance. This parenting approach can have detrimental effects on a child's development and well-being. By prioritising blind obedience over nurturing a child's autonomy and self-expression, authoritarian parenting can stifle a child's emotional growth and hinder their ability to develop a strong sense of self-worth and independence. Children raised under such strict and inflexible rules may struggle to develop critical thinking skills, problem-solving abilities, and the confidence to make their own decisions. Elements of authoritarian parenting style may be experienced as childhood trauma by the child. Authoritarian parenting stile is also strongly associated with the development of mental health issues in children, such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, personality disorders, substance abuse, and addiction.
Permissive parenting style is a negative parenting style. It involves low levels of control but also low levels of guidance. Permissive parents have poor or no boundaries, or have issues with setting and holding them. Permissive parenting is often misinterpreted as contemporary, nurturing, or respectful towards the child's autonomy, and believed to increase the child's independence. Unfortunately, it is quite the opposite as it inhibits identity development, causing dependency and over-reliance on others, and can be detrimental to a child's development. Children raised permissively may have issues with relationships and adult living. They may struggle with feelings of entitlement or traits of narcissism. This can make it challenging for them to develop empathy and respect for others. It may also cause them to have issues with authority figures or societal norms, which tends to negatively impact their academic and carer prospects.
Uninvolved parenting style or neglectful parenting style is a form of parenting that leaves children to fend for themselves and become excessively self-reliant. In contrast to permissive parenting, which intentionally disregards boundaries, uninvolved parenting disregards boundaries due to a lack of parental involvement. Parents with an uninvolved parenting style are typically self-absorbed, leaving the child to meet their own needs. Even when physically present, they may remain emotionally and cognitively detached from the child. While these children may appear outwardly self-reliant, the lack of parental involvement can lead to deep-seated emotional issues and difficulties forming healthy relationships later in life. The dependency underneath the cover of excessive independence may lead them to engage in codependent relationships. They may also have issues with social situations and academic challenges.
(For a detailed description of parenting styles see: Parenting Styles and the Child's Psychological Wellbeing)
(Related: The Hidden Faces of Dependency)
Parenting Styles and the Child's Emotional Intelligence
Research evidence clearly highlights the profound influence that parenting styles can have on a child's emotional development and subsequent academic performance. It is evident that an approach rooted in nurturing support and positive reinforcement, rather than harsh criticism or authoritarian control, promotes the growth of emotional intelligence and self-regulation skills in children.
Research suggests that nurturing and positively demanding parenting also favourably impacts the child's emotional intelligence, whilst parenting styles based on criticism may have an adverse effect on the child's emotional intelligence (Alegre, 2011). Furthermore, children with higher capacities for emotion regulation tend to perform better at school (Graziano et al., 2007).
As we know, emotional intelligence is strongly associated with the capacity for emotion regulation, we can understand why critically demanding parenting will have an adverse impact on a child's educational performance. Furthermore, research shows that dictatorial and authoritarian parental styles have a negative impact on the development of a child's emotional intelligence (Nastas & Sala, 2012).
Parent-Child Relationship and the Child's Cognitive Abilities and Learning Outcomes
The quality of the parent-child relationship can significantly shape a child's cognitive development and academic performance. A nurturing and emotionally supportive environment nurture a sense of security and confidence in the child, allowing them to explore and learn without fear or anxiety. Conversely, a strained or neglectful relationship can hinder a child's motivation, focus, and overall cognitive functioning.
Parenting styles and the nature of the parent-child relationship will impact the child's cognitive abilities and influence their learning outcomes. Studies suggest that positive, supportive, and sensitive parenting is associated with increased cognitive abilities in the child (Lanjekar et al., 2022; Tang & Davis-Kean, 2015). Similarly, authoritative parenting—warm parenting that sets clear boundaries, offers guidance, and promotes the child's maturity—is associated with higher cognitive abilities in the child (Sadeghi et al., 2022).
Conversely, controlling, punitive, and authoritarian parenting may contribute to childhood trauma and cause various mental health issues in children. In fact, research shows that when punitive parenting is used as a response to a child's school underachievement, this may lead to the child's poorer educational performance later in life (Tang & Davis-Kean, 2015).
Parenting Styles and the Child’s Mental Health
Given that a child's mental health is largely determined by their upbringing, it seems intuitive that parenting styles will impact the child's mental health. This has also been supported by research which shows that parenting styles characterised by emotional warmth positively affect a child's mental health and self-esteem, whilst rejective and overprotective upbringing has the opposite effect (Peng et al., 2021). Similarly, hostile parenting was found to be associated with an increased risk of mental health symptoms, as opposed to consistent parenting (Katsantonis & Symonds, 2023).
Moreover, the impact of parenting styles on a child's mental health extends beyond the child’s childhood years. The effects of parenting approaches persist into adulthood, shaping an individual's psychological wellbeing and overall functioning throughout their life. Children raised in emotionally supportive environments tend to develop stronger social skills, better coping mechanisms, and are more resilient when subjected to stress.
Parenting Styles and Depression in Children
Critical, punitive, and harsh parenting is associated with increased mental health issues in children and is often the cause of depression in children (Oppenheimer et al., 2018). Furthermore, research finds that not only does harsh parenting negatively influence the development of depression in adolescent children, but also that parental rumination—the tendency to dwell on negative events—and victimisation play a significant role in promoting depressive symptoms in children (Li et al., 2023).
Conversely, research shows that parenting characterised by high levels of care and promoting the child's autonomy tends to decrease the risk of depression in children, while parenting styles characterised by indifference indicate a higher risk of depression in children (Wang et al., 2021).
Parenting Styles and Aggressive Behaviour in Children
Positive parenting practices, characterised by warmth, responsiveness, and appropriate discipline, result in the child’s secure attachment. This secure attachment serves as a foundation for children to develop effective emotional regulation, prosocial behaviours and influences the development of a secure adult attachment style later in the individual’s life. Conversely, children who experience inconsistent or unpredictable parenting may struggle to develop a sense of trust and security, leading to difficulties in managing their emotions and impulses.
Parenting styles thus have an important impact on the development of the capacity for emotion regulation in children. Authoritarian, punitive and controlling parenting style, in particular, are associated with lower levels of emotion regulation in children (Shaw & Starr, 2019). In contrast, supportive, warm, and positive parenting, along with a child's perception of family cohesion, are associated with higher levels of emotion regulation and anger management (Houltberg et al., 2012).
And because emotion regulation is often associated with aggression in children, it's not surprising that parenting styles can also significantly influence the development of aggressive behaviours in children (Masud et al., 2019; Rademacher et al., 2023). Low levels of parental warmth lead to emotional dysregulation in children, which leads to increased aggressive behaviour, while the opposite is true with warm parental styles (Rademacher et al., 2023). As such, authoritarian and permissive parenting styles are seen to increase the child’s aggressive behaviours, while authoritative—firm, supportive parenting with clear boundaries—promotes positive behaviours in children (Masud et al., 2019).
Furthermore, the family environment and the relationship between the child’s parents can significantly influence a child's emotional and behavioural outcomes. Exposure to conflict between parents, domestic violence, or other forms of family dysfunction can disrupt a child's sense of safety and security, potentially leading to emotional dysregulation and increased risk of aggressive or antisocial behaviours.
Parenting Styles and Eating Disorders
Individuals with eating disorders often report having experienced strained or dysfunctional family dynamics during their childhood. Parental criticism, emotional neglect, and excessive control over food and weight appear to be common themes. Conversely, an environment of warmth, open communication, and autonomy are associated with lower risks of development oif eating disorders. These findings underscore the impact that familial relationships and parenting approaches can have on the development of eating disorders.
Research suggests that eating disorders are strongly associated with authoritarian parenting styles, as well as high levels of control and neglect (Enten & Golan, 2009; Jáuregui Lobera et al., 2011; Peleg et al., 2021; Usmani et al., 2022), but also permissive parenting styles (Haycraft & Blissett, 2010). Similar findings about the association between negative parenting styles and eating disorders, especially related to parental 'affectionless control', were found for binge eating disorder (BED) (Amianto et al., 2021).
More Education Does Not Mean More Happiness (As Does Not Less Education)
While some research shows a positive correlation between education levels and happiness, what we often observe with those who engage in psychotherapy does not support this view. Why? One reason is that some studies refer to parts of the world where average educational levels are still low and underdeveloped, so the increase in education is often associated with higher levels of happiness. However, looking at the population in the Western world, the picture seems different, and some studies show that higher education levels do not necessarily contribute to the happiness of the person.
Research that looked at the correlation between education and happiness in the United States found that those with college education, also due to the more stressful environment, were not relatively happier and even had higher suicide rates (Buryi & Gilbert, 2014). The reason behind this negative correlation between education and happiness in the Western world seems to be based on the increased expectations that the more educated population may have of themselves and the frustration created between what has been attained and what is expected (Ruiu & Ruiu, 2019). The societal pressure on one needing to perform often increases the higher one reaches, and it is such pressure that can have a devastating effect on a person's self-esteem, self-worth, and level of happiness with their life.
This does not suggest that one would be happier and more content with life in the case of lower education, but it does suggest that aspiration towards higher education that would be based solely on the paradigm of achieving more happiness may be flawed.
Furthermore, because parents often have expectations of their children to perform, and the choice of a school reflects the parents' ambitions, the parents' competitive nature can translate into the competitive environment in schools where children may be subject to expectations beyond their cognitive and emotional capacities, often leading to mental health issues. Interestingly, research shows that children from private schools do not perform better in terms of their mental health or life satisfaction compared to those in state schools (Henderson et al., 2022).
Ales Zivkovic, MSc (TA Psych), CTA(P), PTSTA(P), Psychotherapist
Ales Zivkovic is an MSc in Transactional Analysis Psychotherapy, a Provisional Teaching and Supervising Transactional Analyst (PTSTA-P), and a Certified Transactional Analyst in the field of Psychotherapy (CTA-P). He is a member of the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP). Ales previously worked with individuals and groups in the UK National Health Service (NHS) and is currently a psychotherapist, counsellor, and supervisor in his private clinical practice in Central London, UK. He works with individuals, couples, and groups. In clinical setting, he specialises in the treatment of issues pertaining to childhood trauma, personality disorders, and relationship issues. He also specialises in online psychotherapy. Ales developed a distinct psychotherapeutic approach called interpretive dynamic transactional analysis psychotherapy (IDTAP). More about Ales, as well as how to reach him, can be found here.
Related:
Parentification and the Childhood Trauma of the Parentified Child
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